Chaotic Day

Today, there was a moment of chaos in the ward. Chaos has always been an integral part of Malaysian public hospitals and this is no exclusive event. But for those living in laidback Temerloh it is something!

A patient warded was caught trying to inject himself with some 'psychotropic' drug. It wasn't a drug acquired in the hospital but the bloke apparently had someone purchased the drug from a local clinic. Must give him the hats off for being resourceful. He's literally chained to the bed due to some fracture he has and my guess is, he's due for his regular shot.

This scenario is very common in most general hospital in Malaysia especially those in the big cities. I remembered in Penang during my housemanship there was a lady who would do her regular rounds to buy for bed bound patients food, cigarettes and drugs. Supplying a service where it is needed - certainly a welcomed Malaysia Boleh attitude!

Anyway, the drug scene is really still a huge problem in our society. It doesn't just affect individuals, it effects families, the community and the country. I wonder are we doing enough to eradicate this menace? And I wonder what progress will we make in this area in 20 years time?

A Redang Quickie

Three dives only in a weekend was not my ideal idea for a weekend getaway. But then that was what I did this week. Drove from KL on Friday night (I had a 3 day long course) and reached Kuala Trengganu at 7 am. Breakfast and then, I hopped on the Sejahtera 1 ferry towards Redang. I must say, ever since the public ferry was started going to Redang have never been easier.

The ride wasn't smooth. The cabin was stuffy and had this wierd smell that made me felt sick. I did not have my Tiger Balm with me...damn!!! That is my miracle drug. Anyway, I decided to sit up at the open deck for some fresh air, hoping that would make me feel better. It did for a while, until the sky turned dark and rain pelted down to earth. Everyone else rushed downwards into the cabin, I decided to stay put, sitting on the centre of the deck crossed legged, dozing off to sleep.

The sky cleared as we reached Redang.

My water taxi was already waiting and whisked me towards Mozana... the hideout for the famous Redang SeaGipsies. As the boat reaches the dive centre, I could see 2 white men busily assembling their diving gears. That must be Mike and Paul.

Mike Durack, my email friend for the past 8 months. He is the reason for the trip. To finally put a face to a name! Mike knew Fazah, who in turn told him of my obsession with diving. And thus the friendship started. Mike wanted to visit Malaysia and do some sightseeing while he's here but both Faz and I managed to persuade him to try diving. So back to the past few days, the Irish lads were busy taking the Open Water Diver course in Redang. And they were joined by 4 doctors who heard about it and got equally excited in jumping in and dive. So in the end, I had 6 people interested in the OWD course.

Meanwhile, I was still tweaking with my new camera. It has been wonderful topside but underwater my photos have been disappointing. I know what I needed i.e. a strobe but I am cash strapped now to buy one... 2nd dive I managed to borrow Macha's DS 125.. and immediately I can see the difference...

Ah I must get one!

Back to diving, conditions were not consistent. During the first dive water was greenish with 5 m visibility, we did see a turtle though, and some jenkin's ray (they were huge) and loads of big fish. That was at Che Isa.
2nd dive we went to Sting ray city or more aptlu should be called abandoned Sting Ray City. No rays in sight but I was just enjoying the corals and my new (opps...borrowed) toy. Visibility slightly improved.

The 3rd dive was on Sunday morning. And on this dive, Macha and his students joined us to Terumbu Kili. Visibility was good, no currents and the group enjoyed themseves tremendously. I was swimming here and there taking shots of everything...ah wonderful!!!!

We left Redang onboard the 1pm ferry leaving Mike and Paul. They have fell in love with the place and wanted to extend their stay. It was a short but nice trip. And I MUST HAVE THE STROBE!!!!!

Heroes Marathon

I was a certified TV addict. I would watch whatever is showing on the small screen even though it was a re-run and I have seen it so many times. The telly was my best friend and was more important then anything else. My life was scheduled around the TV guide. Even my boyfriend had a hard time getting my full attention when I am around Mr Telly.

And sometimes, I would get a phone call during those 'critical' moments.... such as when Luke just found out his girlfriend is cheating on him.... my eyes are glued intently on his every movement and suddenly....kringgggg.....'ah drats..damn it...who can it be?'

"Hello" .... "Oh sayang...." on the other end my darling was telling me about his dreadful day....and I on the other hand was phasing him out trying to concentrate on the on-screen drama. I am no multi-tasker. I am really envious of people who can do dozen of things at the same time and still remember every moment of it. I have a slow processor, my CPU is still 386K and my RAM...lets not mention about it.I get pissed when my PC goes slow and eventually kaput when i use so many applications at a time , but now I realise, it is just imitating its owner that goes into shutdown when too much info is presented to her.

Back to the boyfriend, usually before I got into shutdown or a meltdown (more likely as I would then miss a critical part of the drama and that is so not acceptable) my defense mechanism would kick in. Yes, THE WHITE LIE!

"Sayang, sorry....but I have to put down the phone. Emergency! Toilet! I need to goooooo". And I slam down the phone, position myself back in front of the TV and stare blissfully at the screen.

This was years ago and as expected the relationship did not work out. Me and telly have since then also gone our separate ways. Actually I had myself admitted into rehabilitation and also joined the TA (telly anonymous) a support group for television addicts. I have been sober for a few years now but occasionally I do get relapses. I am predicting a relapse this Sunday as there is going to be Heroes Season 2 Marathon. OMG A MARATHON?!! 10 episodes back to back, oh such temptation, I don't think I can resist.

My love affair

I am so excited. Haven't dive for more than 2 months. In a few days time I will be in Tioman. Balik kampung! Yeah, Tioman is where it started. My love affair with the underwater world. It was in February 2004 (the first week when the island opened after the monsoon) Marina and I reached the shored of Salang. We were the 1st customer there and the first open water students for that season. And the only diving school opened was B&J and the only instructor that was there was Ben.

Our first venture underwater was during the confined water One (actually, it was in the sea at Salang Bay) and both of us couldn't concentrate on our lessons. We were too awed looking at the fishes that are swimming around us. Marina had a problem as she couldn't pee underwater but that skill came to me so naturally... and I love the feeling of warmth spreading under the wetsuit, one of the first pleasures of diving I learned.

Anyway, I must say, Fan Canyon was at that time wonderful with visibility of more than 20 metres. Huge colourful Gargonian sea fans everywhere. But since we were there as open water students and a few days later as fun divers we were not able to enjoy the scenery that much. Marina and I were too busy consciously breathing and controlling our buoyancy to notice everything else.

I have been back 5 times after that. Every time, we try to go for a dive in Fan Canyon. It is still beautiful but never have I been able to get that similar visibility and conditions. It is just luck, I am blessed to have seen it once under the perfect condition.

I am going back in four days, and I hope that everything will be perfect this time around. It is my heaven underwater.

Webtag

I have been tagged by Ardy

The Linking Tag Rules

1. List out five favourite links - the links can be of business sites, affiliate links or whatever that suits the blogger.

2. Tag five more people to share their links, so hopefully, at the end of the tag, we would be able to share good links with each other.

3. The links MUST be clean. No X-rated sites.

4. List out only FIVE links.

5. You MUST tell the FIVE people you chose.

6. Provide the link back to the person who tagged you.

7. Obviously, it should be an active link.

Well then, my five links would be:

1. CIMBclicks - eversince CIMB/BCB expanded their internet transactions it has been wonderful for me. I do not have to go to the bank for anything except to withdraw money (for transactions I cannot do over the Net)

2. Facebook - I love this application as it allowed me to find my old friends that I have lost touch with.

3. Medscape -I usually go to this site to check out the latest in medicine and also keep up with CME's.

4. BigHugeLAbs - an application that allows me to play around with photos such as Mosaic Maker, Jigsaw, Movie Posters... It allows me to be creative and have fun

5. Lastly my all time favorite Google and its brainier cousin Google Scholar It was my life saver in masters. Used it a lot for my theses research and weekly presentation. Note: Question: "What research method did you employ in this presentation?" Answer: Well, I Googled it up...

Now let see, who should I tag?

1. Floweryskies
2. Lily
3. Najib
4. Hazyr
5. Spena

A recap - my 2008 Elections

The dust have not yet settled but then I am already late. So many bloggers have posted and commented on the Elections and its rather surprising results. But,I still want to write something.

I went polling at the Wangsa Maju constituency. It was a family affair, all 6 of us went to cast out votes at SM Setapak Indah. And as usual, only once in 4-5 years we meet our old Taman Ibukota friends and neighbours.

By 8pm, the whole family plus our neighbours were glued to the TV - we opted for RTM1 and occasionally TV Awani on Astro as our main news provider. TV3 was absolutely biased and the opinions were lopsided (well, now I know BN controls TV3). The panel of experts on TV1 were excellent and gave more factual instead of sentiment driven opinions.

I was also outsourcing information from the net, mainly Malaysiakini and Bernama(though Bernama news were very slow, I guess they have to verify before publishing anything). It was strange when news only trickled in by 9pm. Not a common phenomenon - I usually kept the score sheet on elections for the past 5 elections and usually by 9-10pm 50% of the results would have been in.

The scenario reminds me so much of the 1999 Elections where recount after recount forced the results to be so much delayed.

Anyway, after 2 am when only a handful of Selangor and Perak state seats have been announced I made the assumption that BN had most probably lost both states. By then Penang and Kedah was already under the Opposition.

I guess the Election results was a shocker. A shocker to the BN staunch supporters (I am sure my late grandfather would have had a heart attack if was still alive); a shocker to the Rakyat and even a shocker to the Opposition. Who would expect to be running for a state seat and the next day you are the candidate earmarked as the next MB? My guess is Khalid Ibrahim did not.

Barisan Nasional won only 140 Parlimen seats compared to 199 seats in the 2004 Elections. That is a deficit of 59 seats. Who would have anticipated that? It is such a huge blow to the party leaders.

However, looking at this year's Barisan's campaign I assumed that someone in Barisan had a feeling this would happen. Barisan went all out in the pre-elections campaign. Never before the media coverage was so biased, the masses were shoved with visuals of BN every 5 minutes - it reached a point that I was so irritated that I would have just voted for anyone else. And never before BArisan advertised on Yahoo, yup, not only my telly was invaded by the Barisan adverts even my PC too. And lastly, never before have I seen a candidate plaster her face on a huge (and I mean huge) billboard beside one of the most busy highways in Klang Valley in hopes to garner support. To me, that was an indication of desperation, I may be wrong but that was the impression me, a lay person had!

And now, two days after, everywhere it is so quiet. None of the usual celebration. Every one is quiet. For Barisan, there is nothing to say, the people have spoken. Now it is time to reflect, the masses were unhappy and they have voiced their dissatisfaction. Yes, Barisan is still the ruling party, but it they do not address the grievances and dissatisfactions of the people they may not be in power in the future. Barisan only won in their stronghold, places where if one puts a monkey to contest under the barisan flag it would most probably win. These places usually have the aged voters (the Saluran Dua keatas voters). Sooner or later these voters will not be there to support Barisan anymore.

As for the Opposition, it is my sincerest wish that they do the best for the people. Sometimes, it's easier to criticize when you are from the outside looking in. But when in power they might fall in the same trap. Money and power can do the most 'wonderful' things to the best of people.

It will be another 5 years to the next Election. To all who have won, this is a chance to show people that they have made the right choice. Those who lost, do some soul searching and reflection. And for the party leaders, show some balls and take responsibility of what have happened (this I dedicate to the leaders of UMNO, MIC, MCA...well, hats off to Tan Sri Koh Tsu Koon, that's a gentleman).

Quack-o-logy

Found this while having lunch in Bandar Temerloh. It managed to put a smile on my face.

I guess the owner was trying to be savvy and relevant by jumping into the 'i' bandwagon. But combining both 'i' and 'tek' (which I assume is the Malaysian version of tech aka technology) it just don't work.

Running through my mind was who can use the computer centre? Is it only opened to Donald Duck, Daisy, Duckwing Duck, Count Duckula and Daffy Duck? But since it's mentioned as 'rakan i-tek' whether persons like Mickey, Minnie and Goofy are also welcomed?

And I also wonder what kind of computer language is used? Quack perhaps?

Elections, elections, elections

Elections is just around the corner and everywhere you turn you will be reminded of it. Posters, flags, banners are placed haphazardly along roads, walls and trees. It happens only once in five years and thus the frenzy of activities. Many are cashing in on the chaos hoping to make a fast buck here and there.

I meanwhile am not a politically inclined. I will excise my voting rights when 8th March arrives but who I will vote will depend on whose manifesto irks me the most. But then, I love this 3 week period after the dissolution of Parliament.

This is the period where those politically challenged people come and serve the ‘rakyat’. Day in day out they are there showing why they are the people’s right choice. It doesn’t matter that for the past 4 years, and goodness how many months after the previous election that these people the ADUN’s and the MP’s may have not stepped into their respective electoral areas, but now they are back ‘home’. Back home with the common people, with the Rakyat.

It is a window of opportunity I cannot let go.

Pahang is a state where there are many not too affluent people. Unfortunate people who land at the hospital’s doorstep with illness or injuries. The doctors would do the best they can with what they have. But being a doctor doesn’t mean just treating an illness, we also have to figure out the rehabilitation and post hospital care.

For example, a paraplegic or bed-bound person needs close and careful aftercare at home, and it is a burden on the caregivers. A concerned doctor needs to make sure that the caregivers are educated on how to care for such patient and also ensure they have some facilities that could lessen their burden, such as wheelchairs for ambulation and ripple mattress to prevent bedsores. Usually, the family has to purchase these amenities which are not cheap for the common Malaysian – RM500 for a normal wheelchair and RM800 for a ripple mattress. Bearing that in mind, the doctors would usually refer the patient to the Welfare Department for financial and supportive assistance.

Being true to the nature of a government department, the Welfare services would take a minimum of two months to approve what ever assistance that is required. Yes, they give the needed financial help but the time frame is horrendous.

That brings us back to the elections. It is such a warm feeling knowing that some Malaysians become more generous during this three week period. It must be something in the air, these ‘wonderful’, ‘caring’ Malaysians would suddenly sprout out from no where and would not hesitate to assist a fellow unfortunate citizen. The horrendous bureaucracy in helping others usually would disappear. By a snap of the fingers, some of my patients were bestowed with the much needed sets of wheels – the elusive wheelchairs. It doesn’t matter to me if their wheelchair have a certain party logo at the back, I don’t mind them endorsing or promoting a candidate- as long as they are ambulating and out of the hospital I am happy.


And to keep count, so far, since the election fever started we have managed to get 5 wheelchairs, one spine orthoses for my patients. I am now waiting to replies for 2 ripple mattress and three more wheelchairs.

I wish helping people is as easy as this all the time.

My state of mind

Sometimes I get confused. I get confused with myself.

I use to think I am an understanding person. I use to think I am selfless and do things for the right reasons. And when I do things that I feel compromise other peoples feelings I feel absolutely sick inside. Sick that I may have made the person sad, sick that I may have hurt the person's feeling, sick that I may have turned into a selfish self-centred jerk.

When I feel like this I feel down. Absolutely down. I can't explain why but when I feel like this I get chest pains, numbing headaches and I find it difficult to sleep. And this can go on for days.

Right now I am just hoping this feeling would go away.

Standing or sitting?

I have always been baffled by 'toilet seat' battle of the sexes.

In the western movies it is such a huge deal if a man forgets to put the seats down after using the toilet. Nah, I am not on the men's side. I just cannot comprehend the issue. An issue (according to the numerous movies I see) is so huge that it can cause a crack in even the strongest relationship.

I would be more concerned if he did not raise the seat before peeing. I mean all of us know that men suck at hitting the target. Even with an area of 1 feet in diameter (and the aiming from distance of just half a feet away) many would fail thus the splash around the toilet rim or seat (if it's not up). What would irritate me is the inability of some species to just wash the seats/rim if that happens.

And what is the big deal in putting down the toilet seat? It only takes less than a second to do so. I mean if it's up put it down and if it's down just sit. It is not often that you'll go to the toilet in such urgency that you can't take that 0.5 second to put down the seat. And even if the seat is down, in such grave situation, I doubt you'll even have the time to remove your undies. Worse scenario, you will just pee a bit in your panties, and if a wet underwear grosses you out just remove it and walk around commando style. Such a liberating experience.

Lankayan Memories

Imperial shrimp - found on the undersurface of a sea cucumber

Valen my ass

In five more days couples are going to celebrate Valentine's Day. This is one event in the year where rose growers will triple their profit perhaps surpassing the whole year sale (maybe I am exaggerating here). But anyway, it is this time of the year where boyfriends scratch their heads and dig deep into their pockets to plan the perfect Valentine. In some relationship, the outcome of this day can break or make the relationship.

Personally, I am no believer in one day just to show your affection to your loved one. I believe one should cherish his or her loved ones every single day that they have together. What does one day mean if the whole year you do not show the affection and the love you feel in your heart?

Valentine's day is just a conspiracy to make people feel guilty for not 'caring' for their 'loved' ones. It is a way to make people part with their money in order to show their 'love'. It is the same concept with parents who shower their children with expensive gifts but refuse to spend any time with them.

But then, not many people especially women think like me. Many would lament on how the significant other did not spend enough or even forgot about this so called 'special' day. And some would gasp and stare in awe when their girlfriends or colleagues receive that beautiful bouquet of red roses or expensive box of chocolates and think "Ah...why is he not like that?"

With such disatisfaction in ones heart the auspicious day would then turn into emotional blood bath. I wonder if that is how St Valentine wanted to be remembered, the one who initiate lovers to part?

Monkey Business

The Emergency Room

The good ol' days

Location: A&E Department, Government Hospital in Malaysia

The medical officer just started his graveyard shift at 12 midnight. There are two of them on duty at night. He prays for a quiet night. Past few days have been absolutely crazy. The two officers just cannot cope with the amount of motor-vehicle accidents and the number of polytrauma patients that they generate. And it is not just that, it is usually in the middle of the night that family members bring their ill relatives. Relatives who had been ill for many many days, who were so weak that they are at the verge of collapsing. AND it is usually at night that the family cannot stand the patients' constant moaning and grunting because it is depriving them of a good night's sleep.

Today it is his turn to see the cold or minor cases. He sat at his table. Ahhh..... 15 yellow cards. He bets that 8 are those with minor cough and cold who suddenly decide that they cannot live with it another second more; three or four with stomach ache after binging so much during dinner; and an idiotic one or two who cannot sleep and want to find out why is that so.

Slowly he reach out to press the number zero...five..one...

"Ting.... kosong...lima...satu... Bilik Dua". The mechanical female voice rings out loudly across the waiting room.

The door opened. In came a neurotic looking Chinese lady. She walked normally towards him. He gave a sigh and a bored smile. He gestured her to sit.

"Good morning" *yawn* "What is your problem?" *yawn*

"Ah...good morning doctor... I have no problem, I just want to know if there is anything wrong with me?"

"Uh...duh?? I am so sorry, do you have a cough?"

"No..no..no...doctor... I am fine lorrr.... I just want to check if I am ok,. You know to see if I have high sugar or high blood or anything bad"

He feels his sleepiness just went away. If he understands it correctly, this bloody idiot want a full medical check-up at....he glanced over the wall clock,,,what??? 12.05 am???

He said calmly " I am so sorry, I only treat emergencies middle of the night. If you want to check whether you're Ok or not you need to come to the Outpatient Department tomorrow morning, during office hours"

"Aiyoh doctor, I cannot come lorrr during office hours I got business to run. I want you to check me now"

He shook his head in disbelief and reached out for a referral form. He pushed the form into the patient's hand. " You can go see the doctor anytime between 8am to 5pm, Mondays to Fridays", then he gave her this 'get out of my sight look'.

The attendant, sensing his irritation, quickly ushered the lady out and told her directions to the outpatient department. The lady, angry that she spent 2 hours waiting for nothing and paying RM 1, protested. But by then, she caught a glimpse of the doctor's frowning face and decided to go quietly.

"ting... kosong...lima...dua....Bilik Dua"

A kid, his mom and thirteen motorcycles

About a year or two ago someone in the Government suggested that parents be held liable if their children are caught illegally driving a vehicle. This was due to a spate of fatal or almost fatal accidents involving minor. But then, after while, the issue died a natural death.

After 7 months in Pahang, I realize this issue needs to be re-addressed. Parents here (especially in the estates and Felda) are purposely being ignorant and stupid.

Today, tops it all.

A 12 year old boy was admitted to the ward following fall from HIS motorcycle and he sustained a huge gash over his knee which brought him to me. After treatment has been instituted I decided to do my ‘preventive medicine’ responsibility and ask the boy bout his ‘joyride’. His ever concerned mom was there and she told me to pull his ears and reprimand him for riding carelessly and hurting himself.

I was curious. Where did the boy get the bike? Whose bike is it? Was he being extra mischievous and stole the key from the parents?

I was not at all prepared to hear the answer. Actually, I was stunned.

Mom nonchalantly told us that there were a total of 13 motorcycles in her house. One for each kid. The youngest, a 7 year old has a ‘motor kapchai’. And she went on, they can ONLY use them (the bikes) on the village road; to the shops, to school and to the surau NOT to the main roads or highway. It is convenient for her and her hubby as they don’t have to ‘worry’ bout the kids.

Hmmm…fascinating! It shows that the standard of living in the FELDA have actually improved. Man, they can afford THIRTEEN motorcycles. Doesn’t matter if it’s 2nd hand, they would at least costs RM2000, minimum. How I wished I had the vision to be a Felda settler, no need to study and work so hard, just collect money at the end of the month. Really! Nowadays, FELDA hires foreign workers to work at the palm-oil estate.

Anyway, back to the THIRTEEN motorcycles and under-aged motorbike riding, I wonder, if the son had died of an intracranial bleed or intra-abdominal injuries would the mother still think the same? I felt a very strong urge to tug the parents ears and give them a lecture on being responsible parents.

There are reasons why there is a minimum age limit get a driving or motorcycle license. Knowing the young, the age limit should be raised. Young people are brash, impatient and their judgment have not yet developed and thus more prone to accidents. And when you are young, you will always think ‘I still have a long life ahead of me’; or ‘it would never happen to me’.

I have been there, felt that but perhaps not done that.

It is all written on the day you were born

Tried this Facebook application called " What Your Birthdate Means" and this is my results.

"You're full of charisma and dynamicity and you are possibly headed to being famous. You have a charming persona and you are at ease even with strangers. You usually find your way with most people and situations. You are a good speaker and tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are loving and affectionate, but you might be afraid of commitment.

Your greatest strength is: Your charm

Your greatest weakness is: Your extreme manipulation tactics

Your lucky color is: Indigo"

Whoa, I am charismatic, dynamic and charming. And I am going to be famous. Lets hope it it not because I am a extra in some illicit videos *wink*.

I guess it must be my charms then that bowled over a woman. And I can blame it all on my birthday. It was already written in my future and since I am SO CHARMING that male and female alike find me irresistible.

Ah, 2008 sure has a lot more in store for me then. :)

TAGGED

I've been tagged by Ardy.

The Rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

List eight (8) random facts about myself:
1. I was born at 1320 hours in Queen's Mother Hospital in Glasgow


2. When I was four I used to sing "waa wee waaa...pukul sebelas" whenever I hear the clock chimes

3. When I was 15, I wore my jeans 24/7 except when I go to school

4. Being a klutz since small, I have worn two left shoes to school. This happened as I do not wear them when getting into the car but just grab any shoes and wear them later (and being scared of mom I just wear them pretending it was the right shoe)

5. I had my first kiss at the age of 16, it was so sloppy and wet

6. I don't get angry, I get even : In Form 6 I was told by my class monitor that only the girls are in-charge of cleaning and beautifying the class. I did exactly that; A class of 24 boys and 4 girls had pink curtains, pink table cloths, pink flowers , pink notice boards.... :)

7. I hate to iron my clothes, I send all my work clothes to the laundry for ironing

8. The only cake I crave for is cheesecake

Now, I would like to tag the followings:
Flowerskies
NajiBEST
Lily
Guile
Hazyr
ahhh cannot get 8 people laaaaaa

Confused sexuality

I am not homophobic. I have known people who are gay and are great friends with them. I respect their choices and I do not hold it against them.

However, it does not mean I am liberal in my sexual orientation. I am straight, very straight. I like men, I love men, I enjoy being in the company of men and no amount of seducing by a hot sexy babe can change that.

So when a woman approaches me in a manner I felt was sexual, I cringe. I feel disgusted, I feel nauseated. I used to think I would feel honored if I managed to attract women but then, now it has happened it doesn’t feel that way.

A woman at work has been calling and sending me text messages wanting to get to know me. Initially she was anoynomous, she first approached me via text messages a few months back and I wrongly assumed that it was a man bothering me. I did my ‘ignore-and-do not answer’ method of brushing aside such unwanted advanced and it was quiet till past two weeks.

However, I guess her being exasperated at my silence she became bold. The woman. asked one of my medical officers to formally introduce us and thus my current situation. It is too embarrassing to put in detail. Suffice to say, if I didn’t know it was a woman I would think that a man was trying to woo me. Perhaps I misunderstood and the woman genuinely wants to be my friend. However, being a ‘relationship expert’ makes me certain that the language used in the communication is not based on pure unconditional friendship.

It crossed my mind to ask which part of me attracted a lesbian? Is it because of my tomboyish nature, thus being a 50% male? Or is it because I have big boobs? I reckon if I was a real lesbian I would go for those hot curvaceous bootylicious and ‘boobylicious’ South American women instead of a butch or ‘penkid’. Thus brings me to another question: if I was in such a relationship, an I the male or the female of the relationship?

Now, the reality is the woman asked me out for dinner tonight.

And facts are, ONE: she has mentioned twice she likes me and TWO: twice mentioned she misses me. Ah crap, it is really disgusting!

My close friends find this absolutely funny, a few of them were rolling on the ground when I told them of my predicament. Some were curious which part of me attracted a lesbian, others volunteered to buy me an artificial penis in order for me to satisfy my ‘partner’… euwwww. And ALL the guys wanted me to get the woman naked and take photos of her, perverts!!!!

Well, if it happened to one of you guys I too would have joined in and roll on the ground, so I have to admit this is one hilarious scenario. But for now, my brain is on over-time thinking of how to get myself out of this mess. Any ideas?

Start of the Diving Year

Tomorrow at 1400 hours I will be boarding Airasia flight to Sandakan. It will be my first diving trip this year. I have decided to start early as I have not many commitments compared to 2007. Last year, I managed to squeeze in just over fifty dives, not bad considering the season started only in May for me.

The plan is to stay overnight in Sandakan and then head over to Lankayan Island the next morning. Then it will be diving, diving and diving for the next four days. My aim for this trip is to practice underwater photography as I have just purchased my new camera. Sadly this setup not yet has a strobe, but we will see how it turns out.

So friends, forgive me if I don't update in the next few days. I will be busy indulging in my first love.

LAST POST FOR 2007

1. How has 2007 been for you in a nutshell?
Good

2. Apart from your family members, name one person who has made you happy in 2007.
Ardy

3. Do you feel you are better off, or worse off, in 2007 than you were in 2006?
Better off, don’t have to study anymore!!!!!!!!

4. Where was the best holiday trip for you in 2007?
So many good holidays: It all started in May – my Redang-Perhentian week-long diving trip, Tulamben Bali with Saliha, Kaz, Wanie and Amir in July, Cambodia Siam Reap 10 year overdue trip finally Sembilan Island Seahorse Hunting LOB in December.

5. Name two positive things that you have achieved in 2007
I have succeeded in not studying anymore
I did my Rescue Diver Course


6. Name the best movie you saw in 2007.
Transformers (robots in disguise)

7. Name five friends that you have made in 2007.
Ardy, Guile, Ryzah, Salwa, Spena.

8. What New Year’s resolution for 2007 that you have not achieved?
I don’t make new year’s resolutions

9. What would your New Year’s resolution for 2008 be?
Please read No 8

10. Name 3 people you would like to tag.
Ardy, Guile, Floweryskies

What lies ahead

2008 will be reveal itself in 3 hours. As usual, I never make any plans for New Year's Eve, and this year I will be holding the fort in Temerloh. I can never recall any year that I joined the celebrations. I am not really into partying and I hate crowds, well, people may say I am an anti social person, most probably they are right.

2007 have been a good year for me and my family. There were incidents that we all wanted to forget but generally it has been good.

The first five months was uneventful except me slogging for exams, luckily I scraped through.

My sister got married in July, a first in the family. I guess some people may say...."ah finally"... Anyway, Shafuan is a nice guy and is now known as my mom and dad's 'MY SON'.

Work wise, I got posted to Temerloh. It is a new experience working far away from the civilization I know (there is no cinemas or bowling alley you know)...However, it is a good training ground with the massive traumas that occur along the east coast highway.

Diving has been good this year although the season started only in May for me. I did a Redang-Perhentian week-long marathon and I met new buddies along the way. I finally did and completed my Rescue Course and FINALLY got to see the common seahorse. We capped the end of the season by playing Uno underwater in Pulau Sembilan.

And in case anyone is interested to know, yes I am seeing someone special.

And she call herself a lecturer?

It was the last day of the exams. Everyone was pretty nervous. It was the dreaded viva-voce. Three examiners grilling one candidate at a time. Thinking of it made my heart jump a beat, "what if I am asked something I do not know?". Ahhhh....I felt inadequate, but then here goes nothing. A whole year of slogging, something should have sunk in.

Suddenly, someone called out my name. I looked up, so did the other five there. She signaled to me to come out. I smiled and immediately rose from my seat. I followed her out to the hall, there she was chatting excitedly, as usual I can't really recall but it was irrelavant. And then she said "Lynn, please do better, you need to pull up your marks". I was stunned. In my mind a one question came up, 'did I fare badly in the other papers?'

I immediately questioned her "What do you mean? Did I fail the previous papers?"

"Oh!" "No, Lynn, I didn't mean that, I am just saying that you need to score in the viva". At that point I found her irritating. I was pissed. By uttering that sentence to me, she threw me completely off balance. I immediately excused myself.

I went back into the holding room. The others looked as I rejoined them. They saw that something had happened, I lost my composure. The cool (but secretly nervous) person is no longer there. It was fifteen minutes to 10. That was when we need to enter the examination hall.

I sat there breathing deeply, negative thoughts crept into my mind. I had to tell myself over and over again "You know this, have faith.... have faith".

And as we walked to our stations her voice keep playing on and on in my mind "....you need to pull up your marks.....". Damn her! Damn her!Damn her

Dying wish

"What ever they do, please do not allow them to cut my leg"

That is a dying man's wish. He has been suffering for the past 3 weeks that started with a wound over his heel. Initially he brushed it off, "ah...it will heal by itself" but then gradually it got worse,; painful, foul smelling and discharging pus. He was too scared to go to the hospital, he has heard so much about the doctors there; the fearsome ones, the ones so happy to chop off people's legs.

For the past 5 years he had suffered from diabetes, he has not been taking his medications regularly. He figured, he should not be dependent on drugs; so if he felt weak he'll take a tablet or two but usually he felt fine. "Ah, the doctor must be mistaken, I am not like any other patients, I am not sick,"; that was what he had told himself over the years. And not only that, when it comes to eating he ate like there was no tomorrow.

As the years gone by his health slowly turned bad. His sight was not as good as before, the ophthalmologist told him that he had retinopathy, complications of the long standing chemical abuse of his body. The sugars have caused all this. And about 6 months ago his physician warned him, without proper diet and medications his kidneys may soon shutdown and he would require regular dialysis.

With all this warning signs he still continued as he wishes. His wife and children tried to help him adhere to the no sugar diet but then he gets absolutely pissed off and angry with them. To him, they are becoming an agent of the doctors to stop him from enjoying what is good in life.

Back the present day, his leg do not seemed so good. It has become more smelly and he can see the patchy bluish discoloration of the skin. And, the pain is unbearable. He has not been able to sleep the past three nights.

His wife is so worried. He is not well, very not well. She sees the change in him. He is so weak and at times, she felt he is not coherent. His fever has been persistent this past two days and his appetite is poor. She tried coaxing him to go to the hospital but he has been adamant. But today, finally, he agreed. She guessed that the pain is now so unbearable.

She took him to the ER. The medical assistant took his pressure and temperature. Immediately he was whisked into the Red Zone, the critical zone. Then what she saw was a flurry of movements. He was rested on the trolley, a doctor came and aked a brief summary of events, his medical illness....ah she can't remember. Blood was taken from his left arm and then after a few minutes lines were dangling from his arms.

Another doctor came, he looked more senior and respectful; he had this worried look on his face. The doctor summoned the wife and explained to her and the patient that he has gas gangrene of the leg. He explained that the infection is very severe and that it is causing 'blood poisoning' or sepsis. Without prompt and proper care he may die. The doctors will do the best for him but they need to sort out and eradicate the source of infection.

He heard the dreaded words coming out of the doctor's mouth, "sir, we have to amputate your leg to save your life". He felt his world spinning, he should not have come. Bravely he said no. Not in a million years, and not if his life depended on it.

She was standing by his side when the frenzy of movements around them started. The nurses and doctors asked her to step aside. More fluids and drugs are being pumped into him. He looked more dazed. Someone came by and told her that his pressure is very weak, it is due to the overwheming sepsis. The doctors need to support his body, they need to put him on a ventilator while the infection is being sorted out. He was then wheeled to the ICU.

She had to wait outside, it was a long wait. She prayed and prayed. Hopefully he will be all right. After half an hour an aide called her to inside the ICU. She was escorted to his bedside. There he laid, a tube sticking out his mouth connected to a machine. He was asleep.

The doctors came and talked to her. Explained that his life is in a precarious position. He may die. They are going to do their best to support his bodily functions, to stabilise him. However, once he is stable they need to remove the source of the infection; without surgery, without amputation, they fear that they can't do anything much to save his life.

Now since he can't make the decision and consent to the surgery she has to. She has to make the decision. But then, how much she loves him, how much she fears losing him she still remembers what he said. His wish. His wish to be whole, and life and in death. Painfully she decides, no!

As his wife, she is the guardian of his wish of his will. And painfully she watches him slip away.

dont have a cow man

EIMG_0703
Originally uploaded by divechiefkaz

Wonderful photos of a cowfish taken by my dear friend Kaz.

Ramblings

One of my dear friends is in a dilemma. She has just passed out as a medical specialist recently and she immediately reported for duty at Putrajaya. She filled in the necessary forms and she stated her desire to stay and serve in the Klang Valley. Her reasons are simple: her family is here, she has a 4 year old beautiful and smart girl who needs her mommy ;and hubby is in the private sector and thus cannot relocate. However, knowing all this, the Ministry decides to post her to Ipoh. Yeah, Ipoh is not that far away but then it’s still a 2 hours’ drive. And thus she appealed. She appealed to the Ministry and she also tried explaining to her ‘future’ boss in Ipoh hoping to get some support.

But then little does she know that this high ranking senior Government officer, a Dato’ dislikes female doctors. She was given a tongue lashing on how he hates women becoming doctors and specialists, on how they are never as dedicated as men, and on how family interests interferes with work. Well, perhaps he is upset that his anticipated lesser workload is not materializing. Perhaps, he was upset about something else and this just added on to his irritated mind. Perhaps.

Anyway, I wonder, if this Dato’s wife get posted elsewhere to work what will he do? Will he kiss her on the forehead and give her his blessings or will he immediately get the DG over the phone and pull some fibre-optic cables to keep her put by his side? Or will he give her the ultimatum, “your family or your career?”

Being a ‘career woman’ is never easy. And worst still, is being a mother, a wife and a working person. In the past, women are expected to live at home taking care of the family and household being THE HOUSEWIFE. In the modern age and world, being a housewife is a luxury, a position that many of us are envious of, for this current time it is never enough to sustain or maintain a family with a single person’s pay. Well, we are talking about the common people here, not some rich bloke with a bottomless pit of cash.

Nowadays women working are not related to women’s lib. Majority of us have no choice. We did not burn our bras and decided that we must work to piss off all the chauvinistic male egos. Nowadays it is not a choice, working is a necessity.

But then, still women are wives and mothers first. It is natural to majority of women to feel that ‘Family Comes First’. To some employers, that makes women workers a liability. They say women do not have the commitment to the job like men do, they do not have the drive to succeed; there will always be sick kids, whining husbands coming in front of the job priority. Well, is that bad? In the employers’ narrow point of view perhaps yes. But let us look at the globally picture.

A society is made up of individuals, male and females. Majority make up small social and support units called families and thus, congregation of families makes the society. Theoretically, a society may compose of individuals without affiliation with anyone, but without families but then what kind of society would that be, hmmm….New Yorkers perhaps? And, it is a well known fact that individuals without familial support succumb to mental illness more commonly compared to those with strong familial base. Therefore, a woman’s contribution to the well-being of the society has always be understated and overlooked.

Back to the Ministry of Health, annually doctors get posted all over the country. It is inevitable. Medical service is needed everywhere but the posting of personnel is a complicated thing. Only if you have friends or relatives in high places that you may get to stay in the Hotspots. The people involved in assigning the postings are never compassionate, they do not care. What matters to them is on paper they have done their job, they do not care about the applicant’s history and family, all they care about is putting a name in an empty slot. Sometimes that is good but sometimes it is not. And when it comes to family matters then most of it is not. Yeah, true that many people misuses the family issue to stay put where they are BUT not everyone.

When another of my friend’s tried getting a transfer from Penang to Klang as his parents were ill; his mom had cancer and his dad dementia, he was told “Family or parents health is NOT a STRONG reason to get a transfer”. Uh duh? What happened to the ‘Masyarakat Penyayang’ concept? How can we become a caring society if we are not allowed to look after out aging ones? And how do you expect doctors to show compassion for other people’s parents if they are not allowed to show compassion and care to their own flesh and blood. Caring for other start from within the family, it is not a trait that can be learnt or acquired; it lies deep within us from the years of training by our family.

And therefore, who can blame a doctor if he or she decides that their family matters the most and thus quit the government service to be there for them. Isn’t it a better idea to keep doctors in the service and get them to do work wherever they are? But then, the Ministry do not care; as the staffs in-charge usually say “Ala doctor, resign aje la kalau tak suka, berlambak orang nak pangkat ni” (translation: if you don’t like it just resign, there are a lot of people vying for this post)…. Little do they know (or they refuse to acknowledge) there are actually an acute shortage of doctors and specialist in the public sector in this country.

Almost Perfect

I close my eyes and lay there imagining.

There was nothing else was there. Nothing else in my mind. Only me and my thoughts.

My senses were taking in all that they could. My ears can hear clearly the sounds of waves hitting the shore, the monsoon making it full of energy,full of fury.

And then, there was the gentle sensation of the wind blowing into my face and hair. It was such a wonderful feeling. Felt like someone was caressing my face, gently touching it....

And occasionally when the sun makes a peek-a-boo through the trees shining as bright as it can, my skin felt a tinge of pain, just slight... It was as if the sun was urging me to get up and enjoy the heat.

I lay there for nearly an hour or two , dozing off now and then. I dreamt I was in paradise... and perhaps for that moment I was... Oh how I wish I can lay there at the beach forever..

It was such a perfect afternoon... well, it was almost perfect.

SOS.... what is happening?

Communication of up-to-date information in a time of disaster is very crucial. It is the upmost importance for those affected, the people who are helping them and also to relay the extent of the disaster to the outside world.

In the modern world of telecommunications, there are various medias available for transmission of information to the masses. Television, radio, internet are amongst the most commonly accessed by the people. The first to are more readily available and accessible to the common people and therefore, should be the main source of information distribution.

Where am I getting to with all this?

For the past week, many states in Malaysia have been affected by heavy rain and floods. The situation is not as usual, yearly there are floods during the monsoon but this year it has been heavier and more severe. In the Pahang state, at one point nearly 28000 people were displaced. Some areas, like Jerantut and Bera were totally cut off when the main roads went under water. The whole state was put under red-alert when the Metrological Department predicts more rain to come.

For the layman like me, this means ‘impending’ disaster (to some in the relief centres it is already a disaster). And for us who are stuck but not yet displaced, hour-by-hour information on the situation is really important but are we getting any? For such a large scale problem the distribution of relevant information is sorely lacking. Apart from the 5 to 10 minute news on the local channels broadcasted at the usual Prime Time News nothing else was communicated. Some higher authority may argue, go to the local Flood Disaster Command Centre to get your up to date information. Well, that is beside the point.

This country has been gearing up its people to become a developed nation. It prides itself in having successfully organized the Commonwealth Games, the CHOGM meetings etc. How can one nation become a developed nation if basic communication and information dispersion cannot be achieved? What happened to the national TV, the ‘Saluran Inforia Anda’? Maybe, they only strive to give accurate and updated Entertainment Information to the masses.

RTM’s Client Charter taken from its website said:

“We pledge to ensure the standard of broadcasting is of the highest quality, in line with the government's policies and aspirations, to cater to the varied tastes of the society through: Up to date information ;programmes that are informative and educational; high quality entertainment programmes and to instill good values”

The channels (including the private stations) should have contingency plans on methods of information dispersion when such a disaster occurs. One just needs to have a continuous information tab at the bottom of the screen to display the latest news. They can do it for the elections so why not for this? This is their social obligation. Stop talking crap about giving rice to people or entertaining orphans during hari raya. This is supposed to be their forte, and thus their responsibility to the people and the Nation.

But then, perhaps I got it all wrong. Perhaps, since this situation occurred in Kelantan, Pahang and Johor where most of the affected are neither well-to-do nor educated, then it is not worth reporting. I guess only if it happens in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur or Shah Alam where the educated, rich and powerful societies are residing then it warrants round the clock up-to-date information.

Looking just at this aspect, are we on the right track to becoming a developed nation?

First Hand Experience - Flood Update

A lot of people did not know what to do. No one can leave the district, well, almost no one. So idiotic and bored people like me went out to survey (or as the news put it 'pantau') the situation

Sue and I was brave (or stupid) enough to get 1st hand experience of the flood. My heart stopped when I realised the car was wading through nearly a foot high flood water. And I nearly died of a heart attack when the Four Wheel infront stopped midway. We were lucky we nothing happened. I guess i need to get myself a Four wheel next time.



Floating Town of Mentakab

Note that the water level is up to half of the 1st storey. Pasaraya YT really was literallly going under



Sampan at center of Mentakab Town... an alternative mode of transport. I wonder where do these people keep their 'sampans' when it's not flooding.

NOTE: ALL PHOTOS WERE TAKEN ON 14th December 2007 between 2030H to 2230H

Stuck in Temerloh

Water has been steadily rising despite that the sky has been clear for the past 48 hours. I am stuck here and felling miserable. These are just photos on Wednesday when water just broke the river bank. Things are worse now.

Sembilan Islands - Photos

The Internet Savvy Community

The Ministry sent an official letter advising all the officers to use their 'official' e-mail address for any correspondence within the Ministry. This is especially so for correspondences to the Director General of Health and the KSU.

It's an action in the right direction. Or is it?

Being an environmentalist I laud such action as it minimises the pile of papers used to send a single letter to the Ministry. Not only do you use the piece (or two) of paper you will also need envelops and stamps. And being in the Government service a letter to a higher ranking authority have to go through the Hospital Director(certainly with a copy to the moron), and a copy to every Tom Dick and Hairy (spelling error is intentional). That amounts to 10 trees being cut down for a measly letter which would in the end, either end up in a pile of rubbish or stored away in a dust filled file.

Anyway, back to the 'official emails' for government officers, I wonder how many government officers actually have 'official' email access? I have been in the Government Service for EIGHT years, I am a 'Pegawai Kumpulan A', but then I have never been given any email address. Maybe this is a new thing but then I have been at my new post for the past 6 months. Man, this is really slow, definitely slower than the usual SNAIL MAIL...

And even with an email address where can I access my email? The hospital used to give the specialists a Hotspot subcription and reload every month. But then, they (the administrators complained) that the total usage was high and thus it has been stopped for the past 2 months.

So it makes me wonder, where do they expect us to log in to the internet? Your own Streamyx account? At RM 99 per month? Or perhaps we can have an Internet Club (just like the ladies Book Club) where we all meet every week at the ONLY TWO free wi-fi joints in Temerloh...

And this week, the 'Internet Savvy' Hospital Pengarah announces - All circulars to doctors and officers will be sent only via the email and the Hospital Official Website. Uh duh????

Sembilan Island - A teaser

Went seahorse hunting over the weekend. Boarded Kaleebso (www.kaleebso.com) at Hutan Melintang Perak at about 2130 hours on 7th December 2007.

I will post a full underwater report soon. The gist: It was a sucessful hunting and the photo posted is just a teaser for those who missed it.

(Note: Saliha, Wanie, Haidar, Azrin... you guys should have been there)

A bloody long tag

Want to 'thank' Guile for tagging me. This tag was done last week immediately after I got tagged but I was too lazy to post it

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
KAZ

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Was dressing up to go to work… Yeah I know I was already late… but then I am in Temerloh

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Scolding my houseofficers for being brain-bound and acting like a stupid clerk


4. What happened to you in 2006?
So many things……

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
AH SHUT UP!!!!

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Since it is only 12 noon now, 1 beverage (my daily morning glass of chilled Milo)

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Brown, but does that matter??

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Fruits…I am on a diet!

9. Where were you last night?
Home, sitting on the sofa

10. What color is your front door?
I have no say in this matter, it is a rented place :PINK!!!

11. Where do you keep your change?
In my pockets la….

12. What’s the weather like today?
Dunno,…. I am inside since 8.30 am

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Cheesecake something

14. What excites you?
SEX….

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Hmmm…constantly

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Of course….

17. Do you talk a lot?
What do you define as a lot????

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
OC???? On-call???

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Steven who? I have been to Steven’s Corner but no I do not know Mr Steven personally

20. Do you make up your own words?
If confabulate is a not word then yes…

21. Are you a jealous person?
No… I just don’t care enough to be jealous

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
ARDY, Avthar, Ab Rahmat……ooopsss that’s more than one

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
KAZ

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
My medical officer

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Oh what a bugger…. Blah..blah…blah… Arrggghhhh

26. Do you chew on your straw?
Yes, why not…..I always chew on things in my mouth..heheheheh

27. Do you have curly hair?
No…opps..but then which hair are we talking about ere???

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Back to KL for the weekend

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Me

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Crackers with cheese dip

31. Will you get married in the future?
Hahahaha… that is a million dollar question

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
There is no cinema in Temerloh…do you have to rub it in???

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
I am the one and only…. But then closest in terms of personality and pervertness would be Fazah

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Everyday..hey I live alone and I have no maid

35. Are you currently depressed?
Hell NO

36. Did you cry today?
Why should I??? Water prices have risen past few years… should not waste any money

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because I am supposed to do a medical report and I am damn lazy

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
I have not many friends so I guess I better not make them pissed by tagging them

Doctor, doctor are you there??

For the past few weeks I have been busy, work or if in the private sector,busines has been quite brisk. Horrendous motor-vehicle accidents with mangled occupants have been knocking on our doors.

Anyway, today is my 2nd last day of my 8 day call stretch. Can't wait for the weekend.

But that is not the point of this posting. I have previously written on the difficulties of being the physician in a family.


http://bakawali.blogspot.com/2007/10/in-physician-we-trust.html

And now, I would like to vent out my frustrations on almost similar issues - Friendititis. Occasionally friends would ask me for medical advice which I would gladly part with. Who would not want to help a friend.

But sometimes, some people are too smart for their own good. With the easy access of any information on the world wide web a lot of people ask questions that they have answered for themselves. The role of the 'physician' or in this case, me, is just to validate or confirm whatever they do are right.

Lets say I disagree or the advice given is not the answer one wants to hear, then it's not taken seriously or even regarded as a joke. I may be sarcastic but I never joke when I give my professional opinion. And if people ever question my integrity and want to justify my 'wrong' or unsympathetic advice being given due to so-called abnormalities in my state of mind then tough luck. They should just pray to god to cure them of any physical, internal or mental illness, they may get more sympathy there.

I have a very short fuse when it comes to people my undermining professional 'opinions'. A few things irritate me ; people who abuses their body when they know what they need to do to keep it healthy: for example, smoking, excessive drinking of alcohol, eating fatty food when they have a history of cardiac problems, gorging on uric acid laden food when they have been hospitalised for renal stones and gout etcetera etcetera...

And the worse of the lot are people who do all those things and call up or sms their physician friend and say...."Ah... I have been eating lamb chops all weekend and my current pressure is so and so... and I feel lightheaded.. do you think I am OK? Is the medicine not working?" These type of sms'es makes me cringe and I feel like screaming my lungs out.... "Bloody hell, if you don't care, should I?"

Thus I am tired. Very tired.

Nice... what an awful word

The word 'nice' has a few meanings. As taken from the Free Online Dictionary the following are a few of them,
Nice - adj. nic·er, nic·est

1. Pleasing and agreeable in nature: had a nice time.
2. Having a pleasant or attractive appearance: a nice dress; a nice face.
3. Exhibiting courtesy and politeness: a nice gesture.
4. Of good character and reputation; respectable

Well, on the surface the word sounds 'nice' but then, I never ever want anyone to label or call me nice. Nice is the word one uses when trying to breakup with someone (and trying to spare their feelings)

"My dear darling.... I just have to tell you... it is me, not you... you are a nice person. It is all my fault, I am not right for you. I am sure there is someone nice out there for you"

Damn...How I hate to hear those lines. It is so degrading and irritating... What does one means that a person is nice? A person is nice but not good enough for him or her. It is quite perplexing when I know its 'official' definition but then understand too well its common usage. To me, being nice is when people are implying that you are too ordinary, too common, not special etcetera, etcetera... and I can go on and on...

Well, how do one break up with another. My awful suggestion is just tell the truth. "I am so sorry, you are not THE ONE.... Goodbye". At least if someone say that to me I will not be as crushed as if some one starts the sentence with "Lynn, you're a nice girl...blah..blah..blah"

Here by me

Been listening to this song past few days

"And everything I have in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me."

taken from 'Here by me - by 3 Doors Down'

Siam Reap, gateway to an ancient city (Part Two)

3rd November 2007

Woke up pretty early and had breakfast at the hotel.Then off we went with Mr Sunpreap to Angkor Wat.Entrance fees were USD20 per person. We followed the plan Mr Thean had discussed with us last night, therefore driving past Angkor Wat (will keep that for the last- when the light is good)

We then entered Angkor Thom through the Southern Gate. For those who fancy an Elephant Ride you can get one ere. We were mobbed by kids selling travel books at a fraction of the market price. A sucker I was I bought the “Book Guides: Ancient Angkor by Micheal Freeman”. It was only USD 7 for two (that was equvlent to RM 3.3 x 3.5 = RM11.55 per book); it explains about the sites and it’s atractions. The Lonely Planet Guide to Cambodia was only USD4….wow… and the quality was quite good.

I was so happy as the place gives me the opportunity to practice photogaphy. So many wonderful opportunities. 1^st we went to the Bayon Temple. Ah… such elaborate architecture. The king that built it made the temple in three layers, he thought that he was dying soon and thus started with the outer layer 1^st and construction on the inner layer only commenced when the outer one is completed. Nevertheless, the King lived long enough to see the whole temple completed.

The whole World Heritage Site is under conservation and repairs thus ongoing works everywhere. We went to several temples and had tremendous fun exploring. I was as usual slow and took photos of almost everything whereas Shanta was spinting here and there. Our driver, who spoke limited English had a hard time keeping track of where we were. He’ll go “Shanta where are you” or “Lynn whre are you?” but was a great company. He was laughing so much at our craziness especially when it comes to quircky photoshots (see more at my flickr). He appointed himself as our bodyguard and vetted through all the stuff the locals were trying to sell us.

Special mention and a must visit is the Ta Phrom where the ancient ruins are engulfed by the forests. Huge trees grow within the walls of the temple and becomes part of the architecture.

Angkor Wat itself is a huge majestic temple surrounded by a huge moat. Repairs were everywhere but one thing that strikes me is that almost all the statues were decapitated. It was as seem that someone had an axe and went on a rampage through the temple.

That night again we went to the Pub Street to have dinner. Found a halal Indian shop, Maharaja, and I ate to my heart’s content. Shanta wanted to have the local beer and we went to watch the Manchaster United match against Arsenal. Shanta being a die hard fan insisted that we watch the first half. However, now I know that the wuss cannot watch live matches, she may die of heart attack.

4^th November 2007

Decided to walk to the market place. Both of us wanted to shop….and shop…and that is what we did. They have wonderful silk stuff, bags, bags and bags. I am a sucker for bags. Love bag especially quircky and unique ones. They have lovely silk stuff, silver and wood/stone carvings. Ahhhhh… thank god I brought limited cash. But I did splurge, on a oil painting, it was love at first sight!

After that we went for Khmer massage…. USD 6 for an hour…. I wanted to have photos taken of us being massaged but Shan thought I was a bit cookoo and refused to let me take a photo of her ‘half naked’. After that we took the what seemed like a ‘tut tut’ back to the hotel. As usual traffic was chaotic and scary.

We wanted to visit the war museum but then decided we were too lazy. Ah….next time

For more photos : http://www.flickr.com/photos/bakawali/sets/72157602951606220/

The dreamer in me

I started reading story books when I was very young. Mom used to take us to the Anthonian book store in Brickfields every 3-4 months and I would then get my supply of Enid Blyton. I then progressed to Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Three Investigators and whatever fiction I can lay my hands on. I would read and dream, each word would lit up and form a vision in my mind. Reading is what ignite my imagination to faraway lands, to realms of fantasies and mysteries. It was a world of my own. I was part of the Secret Seven, uttering under my breath the password to get into the clubhouse... I was the genderless member of the Three Investigators, tinkering away in the junkyard, I was...I was...I was......everything, everywhere

I used to read and read without bothering with anything else. Food, homework, household chores were secondary. Mom used to get angry as I will not put a book down until I finished reading it. I remembered once, to get away from the everyone, I climbed into an empty TV box and sat there the whole morning reading. My mother panicked as she thought I had disappeared and I got a nice walloping after that.

And when I discovered the National Library, back then it was at Jalan Raja Laut, I used to spend hours after school reading and searching for new books and authors. That was my heaven on earth.

That was my love. Was.

About 4 years back I stopped reading any fiction. The trigger was when I joined the master's programme. I had to spend most of my hours reading textbook and writing notes that in the end I despise reading. That was so sad.

And now, my imagination, my thoughts feels like a well dried up. Reading is a catalyst of the mind, the soul. Without feeding the mind it cannot thrive. I have to start reading fiction again. Slowly I have to start. The years of abstinence have made my ability to read, to imagine, weak and shallow.

So now, I have to start.

Siam Reap, gateway to an ancient city (Part One)

Everyone can fly, that is the Air Asia motto. With its ongoing promotions I guess I too can fly, anywhere, almost anywhere in Southeast Asia, that is. I was utterly stressed out when Air Asia had its free tickets promotion earlier this year when I 'instructed' Shanta to purchase the tickets online for November. Stress at that point was because, apart from preparing for exams my broadband connection had konked out for a few days.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago, finally the trip. It was a trip we were supposed to plan and go on 8 years back. Shan and I sort of wanted to go on a holiday together when we finished medical school in 1999... So finally......


2nd November 2007
Met up at Sentral at 4 am and boarded the shuttle bus. Bus and flight were uneventful.
Arrived in Siam Reap International airport at 8.05 am. The flight took 2 hours and the time difference was 1 hour. We were picked up by Mr Pallind from the Siam Reap Town Hotel and took us to the hotel. What was confusing was the roads and vehicles.

Some cars were left hand drive, some were right hand (ours were right hand drive), the cars are on the left side of the road. There were so many motorcycles buzzing here and there, if you want to overtake just put on your signal go to the opposite lane and the oncoming traffic would just honk and move slightly out of your way... totally chaotic.

We freshened up and immediately set on the task of discovering the area. The hotel arranged a car to take us around (costed us USD20 for the whole day, anywhere) and off we went to Tonle Sap Lake. It was a huge lake, of which even from the airplane we couldn't see the edges and assumed it was the sea... yeah..yeah...yeah.... my geography sucked.

Anyway, we went on a tour of the lake ( I guess it was just at the edge) costed us USD 10 per person for a boat ride, and our driver Mr Sunpreap and our self appointed guide Mr Pallind followed us. The boat had a very crude navigation system, a rudimetary rudder which sticks out about 3 feet from the back of the boat. We were taken through the Vietnamese water village out to the open 'sea'. Suddenly, the engine spluttered and it stopped middle of nowhere. The boatman was very calm and tinkered with the engine. Meanwhile, small boats congregate around ours, the boat people came to sell us bananas and drinks. All costs "One Dollar, lady". Mr Pallind took pity on a lady with a baby selling bananas.Children of viet descent resting in the boat while mom tries to sell to tourists bananas

Playing and frolicking in the water

Mom and child

Then we realised, there was nothing wrong with the boat, he purposely stop to give the opportunity for the boat people to sell us stuff. We turned back and then stopped at a floating gift shop...

After that, we went to see the West Baray, a water reservoir built in the 11th Century. It was massive and is a testament of the engineering wonders of the ancient civilisation. Many of the locals tourists were frolicking in the waters with huge tyre tubes but I had to refrain. I brought only ONE pair of pants (which I was wearing) and a pair of shorts.

Having coconut drink while resting in the hammockGrilled crows...heheheh

We had lunch by the Baray, a local lunch. Grilled fish (of all kinds), pheasants (perhaps it was a crow), some frogs... I just ate the fish but Shan had a fun time trying all the others, and it did looked yummy. These stalls had resting areas for us to eat and also hammocks for anyone to rest after having food. I guess we were the first few non locals eating there as we invited a few stares from the regulars.

After that we headed back to the hotel. The plan was initially to rest for a while and then head to the ancient ruins for a sunset view but alas, after not sleeping the whole night before and traveling the whole day I knocked out and only woke up at 8pm. We met up with Mr Thean, the local driver who helped to arranged out rooms and went off the sample the nightlife at the pub street.