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Monday, January 14, 2008

Confused sexuality

I am not homophobic. I have known people who are gay and are great friends with them. I respect their choices and I do not hold it against them.

However, it does not mean I am liberal in my sexual orientation. I am straight, very straight. I like men, I love men, I enjoy being in the company of men and no amount of seducing by a hot sexy babe can change that.

So when a woman approaches me in a manner I felt was sexual, I cringe. I feel disgusted, I feel nauseated. I used to think I would feel honored if I managed to attract women but then, now it has happened it doesn’t feel that way.

A woman at work has been calling and sending me text messages wanting to get to know me. Initially she was anoynomous, she first approached me via text messages a few months back and I wrongly assumed that it was a man bothering me. I did my ‘ignore-and-do not answer’ method of brushing aside such unwanted advanced and it was quiet till past two weeks.

However, I guess her being exasperated at my silence she became bold. The woman. asked one of my medical officers to formally introduce us and thus my current situation. It is too embarrassing to put in detail. Suffice to say, if I didn’t know it was a woman I would think that a man was trying to woo me. Perhaps I misunderstood and the woman genuinely wants to be my friend. However, being a ‘relationship expert’ makes me certain that the language used in the communication is not based on pure unconditional friendship.

It crossed my mind to ask which part of me attracted a lesbian? Is it because of my tomboyish nature, thus being a 50% male? Or is it because I have big boobs? I reckon if I was a real lesbian I would go for those hot curvaceous bootylicious and ‘boobylicious’ South American women instead of a butch or ‘penkid’. Thus brings me to another question: if I was in such a relationship, an I the male or the female of the relationship?

Now, the reality is the woman asked me out for dinner tonight.

And facts are, ONE: she has mentioned twice she likes me and TWO: twice mentioned she misses me. Ah crap, it is really disgusting!

My close friends find this absolutely funny, a few of them were rolling on the ground when I told them of my predicament. Some were curious which part of me attracted a lesbian, others volunteered to buy me an artificial penis in order for me to satisfy my ‘partner’… euwwww. And ALL the guys wanted me to get the woman naked and take photos of her, perverts!!!!

Well, if it happened to one of you guys I too would have joined in and roll on the ground, so I have to admit this is one hilarious scenario. But for now, my brain is on over-time thinking of how to get myself out of this mess. Any ideas?

16 comments:

najibest said...

err..i'm speechless heh...but anyhow you can always go both ways :) :P

floweryskies said...

ooo yea u did tell me about this..
aiya najib both ways? ewww
just tell her "NO" but off course she will keep bugging you.
Just bare with it la hehehe...
Make sure dont wear tight shirt when u see her :p

~Tis§ot~ said...

eerr bakawali... i think i am BI... would u feel disgusted with me?

:D

john f seademon said...

Bakawali...definitely the boobs. Ardy would concur. By the way, I am a lesbian too.

Spena said...

Bakawali...I don't know what to say lah..

Bakawali said...

Najib, euwww.... thinking bout it makes me wanna puke

Floweryskies... MASALAH niiiii

Tissot.... well, as long u don't bother me I don't care....you can be a Bi with anyone else...heheheh

Bakawali said...

SD... thank you for de compliment...hehehe

Spena.... i oso dunno what to say...

avthar said...

I think the best bet is go both ways man............... be a true bai,
bai bai

avthar said...

Anyway, ketawa until pecah perut listening to ur situation

all jazzed up said...

bakawali i think they don't go for straight people la. Dinner with a lesbo won't hurt - at least you get to tell her that you're straight, so hands off. I think you should at least go out with her once. The worse that can happen is that she'll convert you to one!! Hahahah.. just kidding girl.

hazyr said...

It's Wednesday today so...how was the dinner? Any tongue-twisting moments ke? (ewwww... ok, forget I ever mentioned that!)

But serious ni...how was it? Managed to knock the fact that you're straight (and not available)into her head?

JOHN F SEADEMON said...

Ibu...she's had dinner with a lesbo before...ME!!!

fazah said...

hehehehheheehehehehe......ok ok ok....recompose and say something constructive to help my best friend out of such a predicament....hehehehehehehehe....sorry sorry.....hehehehehehehehe....oh man...i'm no good at this....hehehehehehehe....

Anonymous said...

Hello. I'm just passing through and noticed this post. I'm not judging you but I find it difficult to believe you are not homophobic when you use the expressions "disgusting" "nauseating" and " makes me want to puke".

If I can make a suggestion it would be for you to cast your mind back to a time when you fancied someone and they didn't feel the same way.

Julie from Manchester, UK.

matt said...

just take the whole thing as a compliment and set her straight (pardon the pun)

Bakawali said...

Fazah.... ah shut up

Julie... point taken... but still can't help the way I feel... perhaps i am homophobic since the centre of attraction is me but if it is anyone else then i don't really care

Matt... compliment yes, and I did tell her I am only interested in men...hopefully she comprehends