Monday, December 31, 2007


1. How has 2007 been for you in a nutshell?

2. Apart from your family members, name one person who has made you happy in 2007.

3. Do you feel you are better off, or worse off, in 2007 than you were in 2006?
Better off, don’t have to study anymore!!!!!!!!

4. Where was the best holiday trip for you in 2007?
So many good holidays: It all started in May – my Redang-Perhentian week-long diving trip, Tulamben Bali with Saliha, Kaz, Wanie and Amir in July, Cambodia Siam Reap 10 year overdue trip finally Sembilan Island Seahorse Hunting LOB in December.

5. Name two positive things that you have achieved in 2007
I have succeeded in not studying anymore
I did my Rescue Diver Course

6. Name the best movie you saw in 2007.
Transformers (robots in disguise)

7. Name five friends that you have made in 2007.
Ardy, Guile, Ryzah, Salwa, Spena.

8. What New Year’s resolution for 2007 that you have not achieved?
I don’t make new year’s resolutions

9. What would your New Year’s resolution for 2008 be?
Please read No 8

10. Name 3 people you would like to tag.
Ardy, Guile, Floweryskies

Sunday, December 30, 2007

What lies ahead

2008 will be reveal itself in 3 hours. As usual, I never make any plans for New Year's Eve, and this year I will be holding the fort in Temerloh. I can never recall any year that I joined the celebrations. I am not really into partying and I hate crowds, well, people may say I am an anti social person, most probably they are right.

2007 have been a good year for me and my family. There were incidents that we all wanted to forget but generally it has been good.

The first five months was uneventful except me slogging for exams, luckily I scraped through.

My sister got married in July, a first in the family. I guess some people may say...."ah finally"... Anyway, Shafuan is a nice guy and is now known as my mom and dad's 'MY SON'.

Work wise, I got posted to Temerloh. It is a new experience working far away from the civilization I know (there is no cinemas or bowling alley you know)...However, it is a good training ground with the massive traumas that occur along the east coast highway.

Diving has been good this year although the season started only in May for me. I did a Redang-Perhentian week-long marathon and I met new buddies along the way. I finally did and completed my Rescue Course and FINALLY got to see the common seahorse. We capped the end of the season by playing Uno underwater in Pulau Sembilan.

And in case anyone is interested to know, yes I am seeing someone special.

And she call herself a lecturer?

It was the last day of the exams. Everyone was pretty nervous. It was the dreaded viva-voce. Three examiners grilling one candidate at a time. Thinking of it made my heart jump a beat, "what if I am asked something I do not know?". Ahhhh....I felt inadequate, but then here goes nothing. A whole year of slogging, something should have sunk in.

Suddenly, someone called out my name. I looked up, so did the other five there. She signaled to me to come out. I smiled and immediately rose from my seat. I followed her out to the hall, there she was chatting excitedly, as usual I can't really recall but it was irrelavant. And then she said "Lynn, please do better, you need to pull up your marks". I was stunned. In my mind a one question came up, 'did I fare badly in the other papers?'

I immediately questioned her "What do you mean? Did I fail the previous papers?"

"Oh!" "No, Lynn, I didn't mean that, I am just saying that you need to score in the viva". At that point I found her irritating. I was pissed. By uttering that sentence to me, she threw me completely off balance. I immediately excused myself.

I went back into the holding room. The others looked as I rejoined them. They saw that something had happened, I lost my composure. The cool (but secretly nervous) person is no longer there. It was fifteen minutes to 10. That was when we need to enter the examination hall.

I sat there breathing deeply, negative thoughts crept into my mind. I had to tell myself over and over again "You know this, have faith.... have faith".

And as we walked to our stations her voice keep playing on and on in my mind " need to pull up your marks.....". Damn her! Damn her!Damn her

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Dying wish

"What ever they do, please do not allow them to cut my leg"

That is a dying man's wish. He has been suffering for the past 3 weeks that started with a wound over his heel. Initially he brushed it off, " will heal by itself" but then gradually it got worse,; painful, foul smelling and discharging pus. He was too scared to go to the hospital, he has heard so much about the doctors there; the fearsome ones, the ones so happy to chop off people's legs.

For the past 5 years he had suffered from diabetes, he has not been taking his medications regularly. He figured, he should not be dependent on drugs; so if he felt weak he'll take a tablet or two but usually he felt fine. "Ah, the doctor must be mistaken, I am not like any other patients, I am not sick,"; that was what he had told himself over the years. And not only that, when it comes to eating he ate like there was no tomorrow.

As the years gone by his health slowly turned bad. His sight was not as good as before, the ophthalmologist told him that he had retinopathy, complications of the long standing chemical abuse of his body. The sugars have caused all this. And about 6 months ago his physician warned him, without proper diet and medications his kidneys may soon shutdown and he would require regular dialysis.

With all this warning signs he still continued as he wishes. His wife and children tried to help him adhere to the no sugar diet but then he gets absolutely pissed off and angry with them. To him, they are becoming an agent of the doctors to stop him from enjoying what is good in life.

Back the present day, his leg do not seemed so good. It has become more smelly and he can see the patchy bluish discoloration of the skin. And, the pain is unbearable. He has not been able to sleep the past three nights.

His wife is so worried. He is not well, very not well. She sees the change in him. He is so weak and at times, she felt he is not coherent. His fever has been persistent this past two days and his appetite is poor. She tried coaxing him to go to the hospital but he has been adamant. But today, finally, he agreed. She guessed that the pain is now so unbearable.

She took him to the ER. The medical assistant took his pressure and temperature. Immediately he was whisked into the Red Zone, the critical zone. Then what she saw was a flurry of movements. He was rested on the trolley, a doctor came and aked a brief summary of events, his medical illness....ah she can't remember. Blood was taken from his left arm and then after a few minutes lines were dangling from his arms.

Another doctor came, he looked more senior and respectful; he had this worried look on his face. The doctor summoned the wife and explained to her and the patient that he has gas gangrene of the leg. He explained that the infection is very severe and that it is causing 'blood poisoning' or sepsis. Without prompt and proper care he may die. The doctors will do the best for him but they need to sort out and eradicate the source of infection.

He heard the dreaded words coming out of the doctor's mouth, "sir, we have to amputate your leg to save your life". He felt his world spinning, he should not have come. Bravely he said no. Not in a million years, and not if his life depended on it.

She was standing by his side when the frenzy of movements around them started. The nurses and doctors asked her to step aside. More fluids and drugs are being pumped into him. He looked more dazed. Someone came by and told her that his pressure is very weak, it is due to the overwheming sepsis. The doctors need to support his body, they need to put him on a ventilator while the infection is being sorted out. He was then wheeled to the ICU.

She had to wait outside, it was a long wait. She prayed and prayed. Hopefully he will be all right. After half an hour an aide called her to inside the ICU. She was escorted to his bedside. There he laid, a tube sticking out his mouth connected to a machine. He was asleep.

The doctors came and talked to her. Explained that his life is in a precarious position. He may die. They are going to do their best to support his bodily functions, to stabilise him. However, once he is stable they need to remove the source of the infection; without surgery, without amputation, they fear that they can't do anything much to save his life.

Now since he can't make the decision and consent to the surgery she has to. She has to make the decision. But then, how much she loves him, how much she fears losing him she still remembers what he said. His wish. His wish to be whole, and life and in death. Painfully she decides, no!

As his wife, she is the guardian of his wish of his will. And painfully she watches him slip away.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

dont have a cow man

Originally uploaded by divechiefkaz
Wonderful photos of a cowfish taken by my dear friend Kaz.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


One of my dear friends is in a dilemma. She has just passed out as a medical specialist recently and she immediately reported for duty at Putrajaya. She filled in the necessary forms and she stated her desire to stay and serve in the Klang Valley. Her reasons are simple: her family is here, she has a 4 year old beautiful and smart girl who needs her mommy ;and hubby is in the private sector and thus cannot relocate. However, knowing all this, the Ministry decides to post her to Ipoh. Yeah, Ipoh is not that far away but then it’s still a 2 hours’ drive. And thus she appealed. She appealed to the Ministry and she also tried explaining to her ‘future’ boss in Ipoh hoping to get some support.

But then little does she know that this high ranking senior Government officer, a Dato’ dislikes female doctors. She was given a tongue lashing on how he hates women becoming doctors and specialists, on how they are never as dedicated as men, and on how family interests interferes with work. Well, perhaps he is upset that his anticipated lesser workload is not materializing. Perhaps, he was upset about something else and this just added on to his irritated mind. Perhaps.

Anyway, I wonder, if this Dato’s wife get posted elsewhere to work what will he do? Will he kiss her on the forehead and give her his blessings or will he immediately get the DG over the phone and pull some fibre-optic cables to keep her put by his side? Or will he give her the ultimatum, “your family or your career?”

Being a ‘career woman’ is never easy. And worst still, is being a mother, a wife and a working person. In the past, women are expected to live at home taking care of the family and household being THE HOUSEWIFE. In the modern age and world, being a housewife is a luxury, a position that many of us are envious of, for this current time it is never enough to sustain or maintain a family with a single person’s pay. Well, we are talking about the common people here, not some rich bloke with a bottomless pit of cash.

Nowadays women working are not related to women’s lib. Majority of us have no choice. We did not burn our bras and decided that we must work to piss off all the chauvinistic male egos. Nowadays it is not a choice, working is a necessity.

But then, still women are wives and mothers first. It is natural to majority of women to feel that ‘Family Comes First’. To some employers, that makes women workers a liability. They say women do not have the commitment to the job like men do, they do not have the drive to succeed; there will always be sick kids, whining husbands coming in front of the job priority. Well, is that bad? In the employers’ narrow point of view perhaps yes. But let us look at the globally picture.

A society is made up of individuals, male and females. Majority make up small social and support units called families and thus, congregation of families makes the society. Theoretically, a society may compose of individuals without affiliation with anyone, but without families but then what kind of society would that be, hmmm….New Yorkers perhaps? And, it is a well known fact that individuals without familial support succumb to mental illness more commonly compared to those with strong familial base. Therefore, a woman’s contribution to the well-being of the society has always be understated and overlooked.

Back to the Ministry of Health, annually doctors get posted all over the country. It is inevitable. Medical service is needed everywhere but the posting of personnel is a complicated thing. Only if you have friends or relatives in high places that you may get to stay in the Hotspots. The people involved in assigning the postings are never compassionate, they do not care. What matters to them is on paper they have done their job, they do not care about the applicant’s history and family, all they care about is putting a name in an empty slot. Sometimes that is good but sometimes it is not. And when it comes to family matters then most of it is not. Yeah, true that many people misuses the family issue to stay put where they are BUT not everyone.

When another of my friend’s tried getting a transfer from Penang to Klang as his parents were ill; his mom had cancer and his dad dementia, he was told “Family or parents health is NOT a STRONG reason to get a transfer”. Uh duh? What happened to the ‘Masyarakat Penyayang’ concept? How can we become a caring society if we are not allowed to look after out aging ones? And how do you expect doctors to show compassion for other people’s parents if they are not allowed to show compassion and care to their own flesh and blood. Caring for other start from within the family, it is not a trait that can be learnt or acquired; it lies deep within us from the years of training by our family.

And therefore, who can blame a doctor if he or she decides that their family matters the most and thus quit the government service to be there for them. Isn’t it a better idea to keep doctors in the service and get them to do work wherever they are? But then, the Ministry do not care; as the staffs in-charge usually say “Ala doctor, resign aje la kalau tak suka, berlambak orang nak pangkat ni” (translation: if you don’t like it just resign, there are a lot of people vying for this post)…. Little do they know (or they refuse to acknowledge) there are actually an acute shortage of doctors and specialist in the public sector in this country.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Almost Perfect

I close my eyes and lay there imagining.

There was nothing else was there. Nothing else in my mind. Only me and my thoughts.

My senses were taking in all that they could. My ears can hear clearly the sounds of waves hitting the shore, the monsoon making it full of energy,full of fury.

And then, there was the gentle sensation of the wind blowing into my face and hair. It was such a wonderful feeling. Felt like someone was caressing my face, gently touching it....

And occasionally when the sun makes a peek-a-boo through the trees shining as bright as it can, my skin felt a tinge of pain, just slight... It was as if the sun was urging me to get up and enjoy the heat.

I lay there for nearly an hour or two , dozing off now and then. I dreamt I was in paradise... and perhaps for that moment I was... Oh how I wish I can lay there at the beach forever..

It was such a perfect afternoon... well, it was almost perfect.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

SOS.... what is happening?

Communication of up-to-date information in a time of disaster is very crucial. It is the upmost importance for those affected, the people who are helping them and also to relay the extent of the disaster to the outside world.

In the modern world of telecommunications, there are various medias available for transmission of information to the masses. Television, radio, internet are amongst the most commonly accessed by the people. The first to are more readily available and accessible to the common people and therefore, should be the main source of information distribution.

Where am I getting to with all this?

For the past week, many states in Malaysia have been affected by heavy rain and floods. The situation is not as usual, yearly there are floods during the monsoon but this year it has been heavier and more severe. In the Pahang state, at one point nearly 28000 people were displaced. Some areas, like Jerantut and Bera were totally cut off when the main roads went under water. The whole state was put under red-alert when the Metrological Department predicts more rain to come.

For the layman like me, this means ‘impending’ disaster (to some in the relief centres it is already a disaster). And for us who are stuck but not yet displaced, hour-by-hour information on the situation is really important but are we getting any? For such a large scale problem the distribution of relevant information is sorely lacking. Apart from the 5 to 10 minute news on the local channels broadcasted at the usual Prime Time News nothing else was communicated. Some higher authority may argue, go to the local Flood Disaster Command Centre to get your up to date information. Well, that is beside the point.

This country has been gearing up its people to become a developed nation. It prides itself in having successfully organized the Commonwealth Games, the CHOGM meetings etc. How can one nation become a developed nation if basic communication and information dispersion cannot be achieved? What happened to the national TV, the ‘Saluran Inforia Anda’? Maybe, they only strive to give accurate and updated Entertainment Information to the masses.

RTM’s Client Charter taken from its website said:

“We pledge to ensure the standard of broadcasting is of the highest quality, in line with the government's policies and aspirations, to cater to the varied tastes of the society through: Up to date information ;programmes that are informative and educational; high quality entertainment programmes and to instill good values”

The channels (including the private stations) should have contingency plans on methods of information dispersion when such a disaster occurs. One just needs to have a continuous information tab at the bottom of the screen to display the latest news. They can do it for the elections so why not for this? This is their social obligation. Stop talking crap about giving rice to people or entertaining orphans during hari raya. This is supposed to be their forte, and thus their responsibility to the people and the Nation.

But then, perhaps I got it all wrong. Perhaps, since this situation occurred in Kelantan, Pahang and Johor where most of the affected are neither well-to-do nor educated, then it is not worth reporting. I guess only if it happens in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur or Shah Alam where the educated, rich and powerful societies are residing then it warrants round the clock up-to-date information.

Looking just at this aspect, are we on the right track to becoming a developed nation?

Friday, December 14, 2007

First Hand Experience - Flood Update

A lot of people did not know what to do. No one can leave the district, well, almost no one. So idiotic and bored people like me went out to survey (or as the news put it 'pantau') the situation

Sue and I was brave (or stupid) enough to get 1st hand experience of the flood. My heart stopped when I realised the car was wading through nearly a foot high flood water. And I nearly died of a heart attack when the Four Wheel infront stopped midway. We were lucky we nothing happened. I guess i need to get myself a Four wheel next time.

Floating Town of Mentakab

Note that the water level is up to half of the 1st storey. Pasaraya YT really was literallly going under

Sampan at center of Mentakab Town... an alternative mode of transport. I wonder where do these people keep their 'sampans' when it's not flooding.

NOTE: ALL PHOTOS WERE TAKEN ON 14th December 2007 between 2030H to 2230H

Stuck in Temerloh

Water has been steadily rising despite that the sky has been clear for the past 48 hours. I am stuck here and felling miserable. These are just photos on Wednesday when water just broke the river bank. Things are worse now.

Sembilan Islands - Photos

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Internet Savvy Community

The Ministry sent an official letter advising all the officers to use their 'official' e-mail address for any correspondence within the Ministry. This is especially so for correspondences to the Director General of Health and the KSU.

It's an action in the right direction. Or is it?

Being an environmentalist I laud such action as it minimises the pile of papers used to send a single letter to the Ministry. Not only do you use the piece (or two) of paper you will also need envelops and stamps. And being in the Government service a letter to a higher ranking authority have to go through the Hospital Director(certainly with a copy to the moron), and a copy to every Tom Dick and Hairy (spelling error is intentional). That amounts to 10 trees being cut down for a measly letter which would in the end, either end up in a pile of rubbish or stored away in a dust filled file.

Anyway, back to the 'official emails' for government officers, I wonder how many government officers actually have 'official' email access? I have been in the Government Service for EIGHT years, I am a 'Pegawai Kumpulan A', but then I have never been given any email address. Maybe this is a new thing but then I have been at my new post for the past 6 months. Man, this is really slow, definitely slower than the usual SNAIL MAIL...

And even with an email address where can I access my email? The hospital used to give the specialists a Hotspot subcription and reload every month. But then, they (the administrators complained) that the total usage was high and thus it has been stopped for the past 2 months.

So it makes me wonder, where do they expect us to log in to the internet? Your own Streamyx account? At RM 99 per month? Or perhaps we can have an Internet Club (just like the ladies Book Club) where we all meet every week at the ONLY TWO free wi-fi joints in Temerloh...

And this week, the 'Internet Savvy' Hospital Pengarah announces - All circulars to doctors and officers will be sent only via the email and the Hospital Official Website. Uh duh????

Monday, December 10, 2007

Sembilan Island - A teaser

Went seahorse hunting over the weekend. Boarded Kaleebso ( at Hutan Melintang Perak at about 2130 hours on 7th December 2007.

I will post a full underwater report soon. The gist: It was a sucessful hunting and the photo posted is just a teaser for those who missed it.

(Note: Saliha, Wanie, Haidar, Azrin... you guys should have been there)

Thursday, December 06, 2007

A bloody long tag

Want to 'thank' Guile for tagging me. This tag was done last week immediately after I got tagged but I was too lazy to post it

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Was dressing up to go to work… Yeah I know I was already late… but then I am in Temerloh

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Scolding my houseofficers for being brain-bound and acting like a stupid clerk

4. What happened to you in 2006?
So many things……

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Since it is only 12 noon now, 1 beverage (my daily morning glass of chilled Milo)

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Brown, but does that matter??

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Fruits…I am on a diet!

9. Where were you last night?
Home, sitting on the sofa

10. What color is your front door?
I have no say in this matter, it is a rented place :PINK!!!

11. Where do you keep your change?
In my pockets la….

12. What’s the weather like today?
Dunno,…. I am inside since 8.30 am

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Cheesecake something

14. What excites you?

15. Do you want to cut your hair?

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Of course….

17. Do you talk a lot?
What do you define as a lot????

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
OC???? On-call???

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Steven who? I have been to Steven’s Corner but no I do not know Mr Steven personally

20. Do you make up your own words?
If confabulate is a not word then yes…

21. Are you a jealous person?
No… I just don’t care enough to be jealous

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
ARDY, Avthar, Ab Rahmat……ooopsss that’s more than one

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
My medical officer

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Oh what a bugger…. Blah..blah…blah… Arrggghhhh

26. Do you chew on your straw?
Yes, why not…..I always chew on things in my mouth..heheheheh

27. Do you have curly hair?
No…opps..but then which hair are we talking about ere???

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Back to KL for the weekend

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Crackers with cheese dip

31. Will you get married in the future?
Hahahaha… that is a million dollar question

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
There is no cinema in Temerloh…do you have to rub it in???

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
I am the one and only…. But then closest in terms of personality and pervertness would be Fazah

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Everyday..hey I live alone and I have no maid

35. Are you currently depressed?
Hell NO

36. Did you cry today?
Why should I??? Water prices have risen past few years… should not waste any money

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because I am supposed to do a medical report and I am damn lazy

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
I have not many friends so I guess I better not make them pissed by tagging them