My state of mind

Sometimes I get confused. I get confused with myself.

I use to think I am an understanding person. I use to think I am selfless and do things for the right reasons. And when I do things that I feel compromise other peoples feelings I feel absolutely sick inside. Sick that I may have made the person sad, sick that I may have hurt the person's feeling, sick that I may have turned into a selfish self-centred jerk.

When I feel like this I feel down. Absolutely down. I can't explain why but when I feel like this I get chest pains, numbing headaches and I find it difficult to sleep. And this can go on for days.

Right now I am just hoping this feeling would go away.

Standing or sitting?

I have always been baffled by 'toilet seat' battle of the sexes.

In the western movies it is such a huge deal if a man forgets to put the seats down after using the toilet. Nah, I am not on the men's side. I just cannot comprehend the issue. An issue (according to the numerous movies I see) is so huge that it can cause a crack in even the strongest relationship.

I would be more concerned if he did not raise the seat before peeing. I mean all of us know that men suck at hitting the target. Even with an area of 1 feet in diameter (and the aiming from distance of just half a feet away) many would fail thus the splash around the toilet rim or seat (if it's not up). What would irritate me is the inability of some species to just wash the seats/rim if that happens.

And what is the big deal in putting down the toilet seat? It only takes less than a second to do so. I mean if it's up put it down and if it's down just sit. It is not often that you'll go to the toilet in such urgency that you can't take that 0.5 second to put down the seat. And even if the seat is down, in such grave situation, I doubt you'll even have the time to remove your undies. Worse scenario, you will just pee a bit in your panties, and if a wet underwear grosses you out just remove it and walk around commando style. Such a liberating experience.

Lankayan Memories

Imperial shrimp - found on the undersurface of a sea cucumber

Valen my ass

In five more days couples are going to celebrate Valentine's Day. This is one event in the year where rose growers will triple their profit perhaps surpassing the whole year sale (maybe I am exaggerating here). But anyway, it is this time of the year where boyfriends scratch their heads and dig deep into their pockets to plan the perfect Valentine. In some relationship, the outcome of this day can break or make the relationship.

Personally, I am no believer in one day just to show your affection to your loved one. I believe one should cherish his or her loved ones every single day that they have together. What does one day mean if the whole year you do not show the affection and the love you feel in your heart?

Valentine's day is just a conspiracy to make people feel guilty for not 'caring' for their 'loved' ones. It is a way to make people part with their money in order to show their 'love'. It is the same concept with parents who shower their children with expensive gifts but refuse to spend any time with them.

But then, not many people especially women think like me. Many would lament on how the significant other did not spend enough or even forgot about this so called 'special' day. And some would gasp and stare in awe when their girlfriends or colleagues receive that beautiful bouquet of red roses or expensive box of chocolates and think "Ah...why is he not like that?"

With such disatisfaction in ones heart the auspicious day would then turn into emotional blood bath. I wonder if that is how St Valentine wanted to be remembered, the one who initiate lovers to part?

Monkey Business