Sunday, December 30, 2007

And she call herself a lecturer?

It was the last day of the exams. Everyone was pretty nervous. It was the dreaded viva-voce. Three examiners grilling one candidate at a time. Thinking of it made my heart jump a beat, "what if I am asked something I do not know?". Ahhhh....I felt inadequate, but then here goes nothing. A whole year of slogging, something should have sunk in.

Suddenly, someone called out my name. I looked up, so did the other five there. She signaled to me to come out. I smiled and immediately rose from my seat. I followed her out to the hall, there she was chatting excitedly, as usual I can't really recall but it was irrelavant. And then she said "Lynn, please do better, you need to pull up your marks". I was stunned. In my mind a one question came up, 'did I fare badly in the other papers?'

I immediately questioned her "What do you mean? Did I fail the previous papers?"

"Oh!" "No, Lynn, I didn't mean that, I am just saying that you need to score in the viva". At that point I found her irritating. I was pissed. By uttering that sentence to me, she threw me completely off balance. I immediately excused myself.

I went back into the holding room. The others looked as I rejoined them. They saw that something had happened, I lost my composure. The cool (but secretly nervous) person is no longer there. It was fifteen minutes to 10. That was when we need to enter the examination hall.

I sat there breathing deeply, negative thoughts crept into my mind. I had to tell myself over and over again "You know this, have faith.... have faith".

And as we walked to our stations her voice keep playing on and on in my mind " need to pull up your marks.....". Damn her! Damn her!Damn her


ardy said...

Sounded like living la vida loca! Heheh ;)

But it is a crazy life!

Spena said...

Life is definitely crazy. Happy New Year.
Btw, you are tagged.hehehe

najibest said...

well, like people say, s**t happens heh :)