Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Love Conquers All.... Not!!!

Last night I was talking to a friend who supposedly madly in love for the first time in his life. He's so convinced that maybe by falling in love and getting married he may finally have a shot at happiness (after several failed marriages) . I was so amused. Why you may ask? I have been in and out of love so many times in this current life that the idea of true love conquers all is to me is crap.

Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness.

Love may be the starting point but it's not the only thing that keeps people together.

Love makes people blind to the flaws of the other person that one cannot make a reasonable judgment in deciding if this is the right one. However, when all is done you'll wake up one morning and realise...oh my god!!!!

I am not anti-love. Being in love is wonderful, it addictive, you will want more and more. But then it is not practical.

Love can only work in a world where there is only TWO individuals. It cannot work in the real world unless with love comes compromise, tolerance, understanding. With the other person comes also his or her family, friends, old lovers, and of course work. Selfish individuals like myself finds it difficult to be in love. It's not practical to say...."ahhh... he loves me so he will change".

That's brings us to another issue...people never change! If you find something in the person you supposedly love that irks you, try to accept it, live with it. You cannot change the person. If they want to change, great!!!! But if not, accept it!!

Therefore, to my dear friends in love ., I am happy that you're on cloud nine. But to make the fairytale happy ever after one needs a lot of sacrifice, tolerance and understanding for BOTH halves. It's not easy, it's damn hard work!

For those people I have been in and out of love with, I still care a lot. Too bad things didn't work out but then, things like this made me more mature and understanding and tolerable... Who knows there may still be 'LOVE' out there for me....


Anonymous said...


Love does not mean it will end with a marriage.
2 people end current marriages to be together and get married.
Is love that blind?

Bakawali said...

yes love is that blind....

therefore don't fall in love... not completely anyway. Must be sane and grounded

neomesuff said...

hi dr ;-)

looks like we have a mutual fren. He sounds that he gave up.
Any critical updates frm him please inform me. i dono where exactly he lives in USJ.
Drop by my blogs when yre free k.Thanks

Insurance Salesman said...

Aayaa Bakawali, you have yet to really fall in love. Sorry to kacau you but I think SD in big problem. Can you check him out please.

Insurance Salesman said...

Cik Bakawali, Relieved, SD turned out ok. For you, can't agree with you. Wait till you really fall in love. Me? Sorry not available. An uztaz once told me, in Malay, english can't break down. "Love", cinta has 3 stages. 1. Cinta - passionate love - turns your world upside down, Blind to everything. 2. Sayang - reciprocal love stage, sane, steady, burning but not flaming. 3. Kasih - complete, sane, forgiving, accepting, not demanding. Hot but you can't see the fire. Not ambers mind you, more like a white dwarf star, small but extremely hot. Also movement is not automatic. It is evolution of the relationship. Stage 3? Your parents are there, otherwise you won't be here. Hehehee. Good luck in your love live.

Bakawali said...

Heheheh...SD's problems are makin me have more hits...

Anyway, to those who were worried... so far SD is a OK...

As for the topic love... we live to experience things and thus also love. How it turns out, when you are at the beginning, who knows... the story will unfold and over time only will one see the outcome.

It's a gamble.. To reach stage 3 is like winning a lottery... nowadays , the chances of that is very slim