Lost for words

I found out this morning that one of my closest friends has just been diagnosed to have cancer of the breast. It was a very uneasy feeling to hear that. This friend of mine was my clinic nurse, a close confidante, and was like a mother to me. I immediately gave her a call of which she confirmed the rumour I heard. She was calm and told that she wanted to tell me after she got the results of the 2nd biopsy. I think I was more distressed during the phone call. But then, I realise that she and I used to look after Chye's oncology clinic and how she used to counsel the patients to be strong. She said that she cried when she was alone but she too remembered what she said to others.

I felt so bad as during Raya I didn't go and visit her at her home in Gombak. I could have alleviate or share her worries then.

My friend has been a very compassionate, righteous and a very helpful person. Karma-wise she would not have any problems. Hopefully all those moments that she used to help people in need would influence God to lessen her burden.

This is not the first time someone close to me is suffer, and I realise it usually happens to good people. Why, I don't know, perhaps I am only close to good people and thus only see them suffer. Maybe it's God's will to test them and see whether they rise to the occasion.

As for me, I am so poor at this. I may help people in my life daily but when it comes to those close to me I am lost. I am lost for words, I am lost in what to do. I know what is the best but am I emphatic when I say what I need to say? I feel like shedding some tears but I know it doesn't help nor do any good.

I seek solace in God for he is the only one who can provide them the ultimate comfort.